The Ramblings of an Inspired Man

A Comprehensive List of Web and Programming Languages to Learn

Not sure which programming language you want to learn? Don’t even know if you want to write software, develop websites, or enter some other sort of programming field? Well below I composed a list of the top languages you can start learning today:

 

Ajax = The #1 language of plumbers worldwide.

ASP = Stands for Arachnid Spider Presence. It’s the language used by electronic spider crawlers to weave the web together.

ASP.NET = Same as ASP, except the spiders are armed with nets they shoot out of their rear to assist with the weaving.

BASIC = Boot Camp for programmers, this is where they go to learn the ‘basics’.

C = Your language for average programmers, given they couldn’t earn a grade above C in school.

C++ = A really difficult and more confusing version of the C programming language.

C# = The musical implementation of C.

ColdFusion = The programming language of Nuclear Scientists and Astrophysicists, who often conduct and compile the code in deep space.

CSS = Short for Corrupt Schutzstaffel. Extensively used by Web Nazis to force old school webmasters to design within their standards. CSS has it’s roots in Germany, where Hitler used this language to plan the holocaust before World War II.

Flash = What female programmers do.

HTML = Abbreviated form of How-To-Make-a-Language. It’ll present tutorials and examples needed ro understand web programming and site creation.

Java = This language requires you to not only become addicted to coffee, but you must also learn how to code with it.

Javascript = Hollywood’s version of Java. Don’t forget that after you finish writing your script, you must submit it to every web director(y) you can find for approval.

MySQL = Stands for My-Station’s-Quick-Learner. My Network TV is a prime example of this language in action. See PHP for details.

Perl = A shortened version of pearl, commonly used by upper-class people to show off their wealth.

PHP = Short for Programming-with-a-Highdef-Priority. Geeks often use this method to to multi-task (ala setting their TiVOs and watching Television) when writing their code. Often used in conjunction with a station’s quick learner for creating efficient television programming schedules.

Python = The programming language of snakes. Learn it if you have a fondness for scales and slithering.

Ruby = The sister language of Perl.

Visual Basic = Just a more graphic and violent version of basic, see basic above.

XHTML = HTML on Steroids.

XML = An erotic markup language, basically used to create porn sites.

Freezer defrosted so we are cooking all our food! (Taken with Instagram)

Freezer defrosted so we are cooking all our food! (Taken with Instagram)

me.

me.


In a dream, in a vision of the night, when deep sleep falleth upon men, in slumbering.

In a dream, in a vision of the night, when deep sleep falleth upon men, in slumbering.

One For One

1 year ago

A man who dares to waste one hour of time has not discovered the value of life. - Darwin

I Gave In

I Finally! gave in and now have a tumblr. BLOG and am exited about wasting my life on something that is not instagram ;)